American Idol: Neil Diamond?

Is it just me or are the themes particularly crappy this season? Nothing against the mentors who have been successful in their own right, but if you’re looking for the next big pop star, why are you having the contestants sing show tunes and Neil Diamond classics?

Jason Castro #1: Sounds good to me. Melodic. Typical but totally acceptable.

David Cook #1: Oh good. He gets to rock it out. I love the rasp in his voice. Love it!

Brooke #1: I’m tone deaf, but she sounds lousy to me. Flat. And stressed out. I’m no believer anymore. Except in her hair product. Whatever she uses is working.

Archuleta #1: I wouldn’t be surprised if he forgot the lyrics on one of his songs tonight. He doesn’t look like he’s having fun with Sweet Caroline. We’ll see how the second pans out. Nothing special for me on the first.

Syesha #1: She’s a pretty girl. Oh wait, she’s singing. Hang on. Um. Little screechy?

Wow. Paula needs an intervention. She’s judging singing that hasn’t happened yet. Someone needs to tell her the little voices in her head are not contestants.

Castro #2: I kind of like his voice. I think an album of his soft stuff would sell just fine. The song’s eh, but I do like his tone.

Cook #2: Now I’m convinced it’s the songs. David’s solid. He always is. But the material is really bland and kind of cheesy. If it were actual cheese, it’d be American – the least exciting of all the dairy. I’m glad the judges dug it tho.

Brooke #2: She sounds much better this time around. But maybe that means two songs is too much for her. And what does that say? How can you hold down a concert if you can’t remember more than one tune? If you’re not lip-syncing, that is.

Archuleta #2: How exactly does one manage to take the edge out of “America?” Seriously. His voice is great, but where’s the teenager? He’s 17 going on 40.

Syesha #2: She really does look particularly good tonight, but she’s off pitch. I know b/c someone who knows just walked in and told me.

So who goes home? Brooke, maybe. Jason’s still got the fan base. I’m guessing they’re not going to let him leave just yet.

3 thoughts on “American Idol: Neil Diamond?”

  1. Spot on analysis, J

    even if they pick a good theme, like the beatles, they wind up singing some of the less interesting songs imo.

    chez is right, cook is the best. my only disagreement is with jason castro. i like his personality, which is kinda like “whatever dude” but his singing is uninteresting for me.

    and Paula, what the hell was that? she’s so jacked up on whatever it is she’s taking that she is judging songs that haven’t been sung. but it was funny.

  2. As Chez has said, Cook’s prolly better off not winning. That way he can do his own thing and not get swallowed whole by the generic AI music machine.

    Castro’s background music. Sitting on the floor around a low coffee table passing a – um – yeah – that kind of music. He’s not going to win, but I find him oddly soothing.

    And the Paula moment could not have been more perfect had it been scripted. She’s a hot mess on a stick.

  3. re: Paula

    it seems the fancier clothes she wears, the more wasted she is.

    also, does Simon have the strangest expressions you have ever seen? maybe not the strangest, but they seem oddly out of sync with what is happening, unless he’s shy but i doubt that.

    does anyone get more sympathy votes than brooke? she’s such a fragile vessel, seems always on the verge of tears.

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