I’m concerned there’s some shady sh*t going down in Gary, Indiana tonight. First off, if Obama pulls out the last minute win, count on the mayor to be all over the news tomorrow morning. Holding up the votes smells like a serious publicity ploy.
Second, I have been informed that this accurately describes the region:
I’d made plans earlier with my friend cstone to meet him in the Chicago area, so I confirmed the plans with him and headed west. Not far from Chicago, I noticed that I was nearly out of fuel. I saw an exit marked “Gary – Riverboat Casinos,” and surmised that where there are casinos, there was probably both easy access and tourist facilities.
Wow, was I ever wrong! Gary, Indiana is a hellhole filled with crack houses and oil refineries. It rivals Boys Town in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico for being the most terrible place I’ve ever seen. Where I got off of the freeway, it was impossible to get back on. There wasn’t any signage indicating how to get back onto the freeway, either. Since the area looked extremely dangerous, I wasn’t about to stop, but as I drove, the area kept getting worse. Finally, I saw a sign that said Chicago, and followed it. A couple of miles later, I saw another sign. Eventually, I arrived at the gaudily decorated riverboat casinos, and with the needle riding on empty, spotted Last Chance Gas, located just on the Indiana side of the state line. I filled the car, headed into Illinois, and called cstone.
“You’re where?” said cstone, his voice a mixture of confusion and concern. “That’s the second-worst part of Chicagoland, and you don’t even want to know about the worst part. Get out of there, now!”
UPDATE: Morning. Clinton held the lead, and local reports indicated there wasn’t anything shifty going on. Counting was just taking a long time. However, I clearly wasn’t the only one with suspicions.