I Give Up


My head hurts. Listening to Sarah Palin speak is sheer agony.

My computer’s slow, but this clip from Palin on the CBS Evening News explaining her “Russia is close to Alaska” foreign policy credentials is excruciating. If you care to read the torture instead, be my guest:

COURIC: Have you ever been involved with any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?

PALIN: We have trade missions back and forth. We– we do– it’s very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is– from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to– to our state.

Monday night I DVRed “Gossip Girl” and “The Hills” and watched them back-to-back in one mind-numbing stretch. I felt a little dumber after the fact but was fully aware of the risk of brain cell death and was still willing to sacrifice one teeny one.

Clips of Palin, on the other hand, take all my happy little brain cells and – without pre-authorization – twist them into painful little knots until they scream altogether in a deafening chorus of “uncle!” and “mercy!”

If Palin were a character in a sitcom pilot, the producers would go back to the writers and tell them to make her more believable (i.e. less dumb).

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